Being Fat - Part 3

[Note: This is a re-posting of my Facebook Note on August 27th 2008.  Names have been edited out.] 

So I lost the weight, was keeping it off, and was feeling good about myself. So how'd it all come back?

The Weight Gain Begins

The first major element to that was tearing my ACL.

An aphio intramural volleyball team sounded fun. I thought about joining it for a week or so, then finally decided to do it, during the final week additions were being accepted. Games were on Tuesdays, practices on Thursday. The day was a practice day. My first practice... things seemed to be going well. I still remembered the basics from a summer class in middle school. The lady in charge of the gym had told us a few minutes ago that there were only 5 minutes left before she had to close the gym, so this was our last set. We serve the ball, they hit it back and it's coming to me.

I jump. I hit. I break.

I don't remembered landing. I remembered being in the air, then all of sudden laying on my right side clutching my right knee to my chest. A second later my mind's processing the sounds that I had just heard. It was a quick *PopPop* Then a second after that I realize I'm in pain. That must have been my knee, I thought. I was able to hobble back home with some assistance so I thought it was just a sprain. I'd go to the health center the next morning. I take a shower on my own, despite protests from everyone else (Not that people were saying they were going to help me take a shower, and I was telling them no. They didn't want me taking a shower at alll, cause they thought I might fall or something.)

I wake up, get down the stairs, my leg's hurting more than last night. I make it out the door, into the middle of the street... and that's it. I'm in the middle of the street, and the pain is too much for me to go any further. I'm thinking "Oh crap. People are gonna honk at me if I start blocking traffic." I call up my Big and she comes out after me and helps me to the sidewalk, calls campus police, and they drive me to the health center.

Hearing the news was a sad thing. Feeling the results of the news was even worse. I had felt so free taking control of my weight. It had taken so long to finally reach that point, but I had made it. Going to the gym was so relaxing. Running on a treadmill felt so freeing. And now I couldn't do it anymore. I could hardly leave my room now. I felt trapped. And depressed. So I ate.

(I did make that final point though =P)


The Weight Gain Continues

I gave up on my rules. My old, bad eating habits returned. And so the weight returned.

Over the years, I'd reach periods of high stress from school, aphio, life in general, and not care about what I was eating. I'd be cramming for finals all week, and snack like crazy as I did all nighters. I'd also reach periods of depression and eat more than I should.

I began eating full meals at fast food restaurants again, eating all the fries I wanted. Trying to take full advantage of the bottomless fries at Red Robin, or an all you can eat buffet.

I love ice cream, and definitely ate more in one sitting that I should on several occasions, and always took advantage of the "2 for $6" deals at Lucky when they popped up. Started drinking regular soda again at times when there weren't many other options, instead of just drinking the water.

I got into the mindset of, "I already gained some weight, what could a little more hurt?" And knowingly eat more than I should.

I also stopped weighing myself. I'd look at myself and think, "I think I gained some weight." But I didn't really check it. I was afraid to. I kept on delaying it, and ignoring it. I kept on thinking, "I need to lose some weight" but not really wanting to face it.

The move for my parents from Richmond to Fairfield was also a factor.

The house is cool, but the area is soooo dry. When you're constantly not drinking enough water every day (which I fell back into), it's easy to mistake thirst for hunger. And Fairfield water is not as sweet tasting as water here in SF or Richmond. On top of that, there was so much good home cooked food at home.

So I was home most of the summer. I had access to delicious food that my dad cooks in excess, so I'd eat more than I should when I was hungry. I was also constantly dehydrated, and eating when I was actually thirsty. Not good.


The Weight Gain Ends

I've been shocked back into realizing I need to get back on top of things. So the weight gain ends now. I have to return to my old plan. But that plan isn't simply just eat 1200 calories a day. That was just a simplified version of it, and I didn't explain it well.

The plan is burn more than I take in. Which includes a combination of factors. 1200 calories is one of the parts to that, but it's a 1200 net intake plan. The plan isn't just "diet", but the good ol' "diet and exercise". Now that school has started again, I can't wait to get access to the school gym (now that I can't access the Parkmerced gym.)

I love elliptical machines. I can't use a treadmill for long periods anymore, since I never did the surgery for my leg, but elliptical machines burn even more calories anyway. The more calories I burn a the gym, the more I can eat that day, and still make it to the 1200 net calorie goal.

Not only will that keep my total calories down, but the act of exercising will speed my metabolism up, as well as build muscle which means my body'll burn even more calories a day naturally.

Having the ability to eat more, means it'll also be easier to eat more spaced out meals a day, which will keep my body in a higher metabolic state, rather than it slipping into a starvation mode and actually decreasing it.

Water is part of the plan. A lot of it. Water's good for the skin of course, and being properly hydrated is good with focus as well, but it'll also keep my metabolic rate up. Even being slightly dehydrated slows down a person's metabolism.

Sleep is another factor. I need to get into a good sleeping pattern, and getting enough sleep every night. If my body is always tired, and always prepping for sleep, that means it's also slowing down my metabolism. (Not to mention again, that it's also good for the mind like water is.)

The last part of the entire plan is to allow for some give to the plan. That's why I choose to go with a basic 1200 net calorie plan. That means I can eat what I want, and am not restricted to eating only certain things. Fad diets don't work, like the Special K diet, cause it's just too hard to maintain. Trying to eat a bowl of Special K cereal for breakfast and lunch every day for three months is just not going to work. All that diet is really doing is reducing calorie intake, so that's what I'll do, but with stuff that I actually find tasty.

Special K isn't a bad cereal... but not two meals a day, seven days a week. Which leads me to why I'm not restricting myself to 1200 seven days a week. I need a day off. I'll lose more commuting to it for 6 days a week for 12 weeks, instead of trying for 7 days a week and giving up week two or three.

Unless I forgot to mention something, that's the plan. I'm still warming up and have to reach it it full force. I still have to get into a regular gym schedule, and regular sleep schedule. Once I get into that rhythm, there's no stopping me.